悼念

没得纪念开始，是否如此所以才在悼念过去？

5个月了，心还是痛。真的会好吗？真的还敢把心交给别人吗？

don't overestimate yourself. you are not worth the energy required for hate.

all it takes is one person to make you believe, and one person to make you stop believing.

你说我们很渺小
躲也躲不掉
命运的心血来潮
那已经是很久很久以前的事了
虽然
曾经是很深很深的感情
那已经是很久很久以后的事了
虽然
还是会很怕很怕再伤心
人之初
爱之深
没想到又想到那一个人

HOLIDAY!!!

WOOHOO!!! month of april is like finally finally over!!!

YAY!!!! HOLIDAY TIME!! time to recharge and rejuvenate! time to relax and slack!

hope may will be a better month!

photos entry

nice weather for cycling last sunday with gen!


ready to go!

sun was so glaring, i wan sunglasses too!

name of flower- ixora?

caption for this photo is so easy: chickens crossing the road! =p

new spectacles, with act cute cleaning cloth. part of the bomb that cost me so much!

one week countdown! will may be a better month??

love's little things

i remember..

you rushed down to tampines in a cab cause i was upset.
you holding my hand in the school canteen.
you reassuring me when i saw a rat on the sidewalk.
you catching me when i lost my balance on the bus.
you left a rose with an apologetic drawing in my locker.
you and i crying as we said goodbye.

the sweets you gave me.
the motorola phone that you loved to spin around.
the first time i wore a skirt to meet you.
the place of our first kiss.
the way you always avoided glaring lights.
the specific way you held on to grab poles in the train.
the foods you liked - Long John and 老鼠粉.
the bus rides home when i could lean on your shoulder.
the rings that you gave me.
the magnanimosity of your love.

how encouraging to have each other when deadlines were a chore.
how you drove me home that day when i was extra tired.
how you like to rest your head on my thigh.
how you complain about my noisy tummy.
how you only always make me order meatball oregano at subway.
how you always know when i'm upset.
how your lame actions and words could make me smile.
how peaceful your face looks when you're asleep.
how we interlock fingers during movies.
how we always talked before sleeping.
how we planned to go places together.
how we argued, and how we made up.
how i cried and said harsh words, and then ran back to hug you.
how i could always draw strength from your embrace.
how natural to wander the streets with you.
how your mind seems so transparent to me.
how it felt like we could always have an unspoken understanding.
how the promises didn't come true.
how our tears fell in the end.

i remember so much, but it does me no good. i try to remember only the good things, but all good things came to an end. and with so much to remember, i forgot the most important thing that i must remember. that love is transient. it isn't constant.

no time for emo. time to pia work.

mmmmuuuussstttt eeeennnndddduuuurrrreeeee....

FARK!! i ot till almost 8pm for two nights in a week, and still! i have to bring work home.
FARK!! the work i have to do i have no idea how to do.
FARK!! my handphone keeps ringing with calls from office people.

grumbly. super grumbly. ROAR!!!!

but thank god evan had this wonderful lobang which she jio me for. raffles amrita spa for 2 - FREE!!!! =D more relaxed now even though the work still seems daunting.

now going out to enjoy the rest of my saturday before dying in my work grave tomorrow and monday.

FARK!! if i cant get my leave approved, i'm going to.... grrrr.

broke.

shall eat grass this 2 weeks, cause i spent a bomb today. super broke. and i'm not kidding, the amount was huge. boohoo plus i have been spending money freely, i guess it's time to organise my finances.

itching for some change in my life, hope it will only get better and not worse. let the days fly by, please.

i guess my 2 (TWO!!!!) wisdom teeth shows that i have really become smarter after so long. maybe it's linked to my refined bullshit radar.

roar

supposed to be a totally happy day today. met gen to go cycling. and halfway i got one phone call, which i ignored. and then i got 3 more phone calls, and 1 sms. none of which boded well. all shitty stuff.

maybe i'm not suited for this job, that's why i'm not doing well. or is it because i did not put my 100% effort into the job, that's why i suck. or is it that there are jian people out there who are always trying to sabo people and make work more miserable than it already is?

thank god by some small stroke of luck i am on leave tomorrow. even if tues i will still kena scolding, at least it's a 4-day week.

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. and it still doesn't fully express my pekcek-nism.

countdown starts. fucking far away. fuck.

grrrr

shit man. first time i have to bring work home. so scared i'll get flayed apart at work soon. bleah.

i have lotsa vouchers/ promotions for meals. swensens voucher, free sundae, 1-for-1 at bakerzin. quick apply for vacancies!

cant wait for week month to end. was supposed to meet QL at 7pm tampines, and i left office at 7.05pm, because i had to do some last minute thing. kns. and the weather was so horriblyfuckingly pouring that even i chiong cab also needed to slowly crawl down the expressway. ROAR!!! ultra bad mood yesterday! today was better and worse in some ways. spent 5 frigging hours in JB on business visit, and end result is i have a shitload of things i'm supposed to do, but don't know how to do. i really don't need this kinda passport stamp.

it's a freaking 5.5 day week. 2 more weeks... 15 more days.... gosh. grumpy. even the girls have no time to email at work. lol let's all hang in there!

getaway!

short 3d2n trip to 'you kelong' in sibu, johore. heard that it's one of the 4 that is in the same area, but overall, i agree with evan that 'hotboys kelong' was better.

entire group of people was about 20, made up of 5 families, who are the relatives and friends of my mom's ex-colleague. haha we were kind of appalled that we were the oldest kids there. as we later found out, their ages ranged from 4 to 16, those 1990s and 2000s. omg. we felt so old. hahaha

long journey by bus, so we had to leave at 5am. along the way, we had bak kut teh at this roadside coffeeshop, which was much better than the leong kee near beach road.


slept all the way after that, and then we reached the jetty! the place seems the same, zero difference from the first time we went. but we've changed, inevitably.

the kelong, the dormitory style double decker queen beds, and the boat that chugged us there.

catch of the day!psst, did you know that pregnant stingrays deliver their babies when they're stressed, such as when getting caught? someone told us that stingrays impact themselves on rocks to give birth, kinda unbelievable. haha

parents! =)

ate super a lot of meals, but concluded that the variety and amount was not as satisfying as other kelongs.

my dear super old friend. was super happy to have her on this trip.


it's really kinda nice to plan not to do anything. we just woke up to eat, and then we could sleep again. or watch some tv, or sit by the sea to talk secrets. we could actually count on our fingers the number of things we did the whole day. especially nice to talk freely to a close friend for so long, it's like catching up on all the time we've lost while being caught up with work and life. drinking coke by the sea felt damn shiok.

the vastness of the sea made me feel calm and rested. i hope the feeling lasts, and hope i treasure what i have now.

me with parents!!!

evan kept saying this little girl looks like miriam yeung. she's 4, and see, we've already corrupted her into camwhoring. her first 自拍. LOL


i played mahjong with some pro people, won 10RM on day two, and lost RM50 on day three. felt a bit conned, since we were playing the horrible kind of 3/6. but it was a good experience, and i think i gained a level up. haha but i am contented with our usual girls style.

ended the trip feeling refreshed, since we both slept a lot. nothing compared to my mom but we are ready to forge ahead again, and deal with the complications in our lives.

came home to find this on my desk. so glad it's over.

4月1号的心情

听过有人说，用一个月悼念一年的爱情。 这样的话，4年的感情应该等于4个月的时限。已经够了。
谢谢你，教了我此生永不忘记的一堂课。恭喜你，作第一个让我看到都一定会装陌生的昔日情人。

可能太多的爱无法收回，所以不能做你的朋友。
可能太深的伤无法痊愈，所以不能心平气和地和你说话。
可能太痛的心不想被回忆揪着，所以将一切丢掉。

太狠心吗？太绝情吗？你口中的那4年，其实已经没有价值了。做不成情人，我也不要你这个朋友。

今天，我们到此为止。重新出发,没有你,我会更好。

relax, shake leg, eat seafood

goal for tonight: stay awake till 430am. i've given up my comfortable bed to evan, who is blissfully asleep behind me. hahaha although the truth is that i'd rather not sleep than sleep 4 hours and awake in a grouchy mood. so i shall persevere!

looking forward to a long weekend of rotting and using 0% of brain capacity. work this week has been overwhelming. was it due to the long weekend, so everyone wants to pia everything? or is due to month end/start? anyway it's been tiring, and there's more to come.

plan for tonight: blog/ facebook/ watch dramas. originally was to play mahjong. but evan hasnt been sleeping a lot these few days, so i shall spare her. ain't i nice?

anyway, caught clash of the titans just now with the 2b guys. 4th row tickets gave me a slight cross-eye and neck ache, and the movie was only so-so. but i'll still choose this film over alice in wonderland. going to have to wait till after their exams before we can meet again to fly kite or do something else.

met sharon yesterday in a belated attempt to celebrate her birthday. as usual, she couldn't decide on place and food. so since i was running late, and was looking for somewhere less crowded, decided to try the food at iluma.


preview of what we had.

food photos! and of course dessert! =)



seems like she ate alot, right?

happy belated birthday my dear!

an icecream for you...

and one for me!

hope your wishes come true, and let's meet again soon!